His World
by GotItMemorized
Summary: Demyx loves Axel, but Axel is eternally faithful to Roxas, even after he deserted the Organization. Can Demyx make Axel love him? [Demyx x Axel, implied Axel x Roxas]. Songfic.


**A/N: **This is a songfic to SR-71's _My World._ Good song. I didn't use the full lyrics for sevreal reasons. x.x;; Anyway. Enjoy!

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_Nobody wants to be alone,_

_So how did I get here?_

I found hell when I first joined the Organization. No one appreciated me, no one considered being kind to me. I was given a few glances from the man I now call Zexion, but that was very rare. Even less common, the man now known to me as Axel would throw me a glare here and there.

Little did I know how much we'd grow. Little did I know how we'd fall apart.

_When I look at you, I see him staring through me_

_A wink and a smile, 'cause he's been inside of you_

As unwilling as he was, Axel was the first to greet me when I first joined.

"_C'mon!_ Why do **I** have to do this? I'm the newest here after all! Why can't you have someone more _experienced_ show the guy around!" He protested.

"Well, it's not up to me," Xigbar scratched his head. "Xemnas is doing some... personal things right now, he can't be disturbed. I'm _only_ second in command ya know. Wouldn't listen to me if I tried. After all, I'm nothing compared to his little kitten, Saïx."

"Oh what, don't tell me he's having another fucking massage! C'mon Xigbar, why can't I see the guy!"

"Hey, you've been here long enough to know very well not to get on the dude's bad side. Or his little kitten's either. That's how I got that here scar." He rubbed the scar on his cheek.

"Hmph." Axel wasn't happy showing me the routine, but he followed his orders anyway. He sighed and turned to me, smiled gently.

"Hey there, shrimpy," he ruffled my hair. "The name's Axel. Got it memorized?"

"Y-yeah. It's nice to meet you, I'm –"

"Silly. I know who you are. The Organization knows _lots_ more about you than you think." He ruffled my hair again. I could feel my face heating up; weird, considering all that "_we have no emotions, no soul, no heart"_ crap.

And that's how it started.

Sooner or later, Roxas showed up. Axel immediately took a liking to our newest member, as did I. However, Axel's emotions for the kid were stronger than mine ever were and ever could be. Axel treated Roxas with respect that I've never felt him give me. And sometimes, out of the three of us, I was the one left behind.

They took their friendship to the extreme. Eventually they became more than friends altogether, despite Roxas' tendency to deny it. They've done it together several times.

I have no problems with Axel being happy, him finding the right one for him. Roxas would be happy, too. It's just... I don't like being alone. Knowing I've been abandoned, but not by anyone -- by my best friends.

Roxas left.

_Is he all the things you tried to change me into?_

_Is he everything to you?_

_Does he make you high? Make you real?_

_Does he make you cry? Does he know the way you feel?_

Axel wasn't the same. He wasn't the same -- almost _cheerful --_ man I knew. Treasured. Loved.

There were only two places Axel could've been; his room or Roxas'. He still was hung up about Roxas leaving and all, so I thought he wouldn't have gone to Roxas' room, knowing it would hurt him. I entered his room.

"...Axel?"

"Ever hear of knocking?" Axel was sitting on his bed, studying the floor with both a blank stare and fascination.

"You know, you're not you since Roxas left! What's wrong with you! I miss him too, but I'm still the same... aren't I!"

"Dunno."

"What?"

"I want him back. I just want to see him."

"You know you'd have to say goodbye again..."

"But at least I'd be able to say goodbye properly. At least he'd _hear_ me this time."

"Axel... you know it hurts... to see you like this." He was ignoring me. I've played nice long enough. "Why can't you listen to me! Is Roxas your whole fucking world! You complain about Roxas not listening to you, but you can't even listen to me!"

"Maybe he is."

"What am I then? Just...Nobody?"

"No... it's just... Roxas made me feel... _real._"

"He is your whole world then..." I wanted Roxas back, but at the same time I hated him. I wanted him back to know that Axel would be himself again, but at the same time, I knew he's the source of his sorrow. "Does he..." Axel picked up his head slightly. "Does he know how you feel about this?"

"No. He doesn't." He dropped his head down low again and stared at the floor, almost wishing it could bring Roxas back.

_Love is all around you, your universe is full_

_But in my world, there is only you_

He never saw. He never could. He was blinded by Roxas to see that I was there. I was there _first_ even. Yet, he still chose him over me.

He couldn't realize that I would sacrifice my life for him; I'd do anything to see him happy. I wanted to he was safe and happy.

But I also wanted to know I had a place in his world.

He certainly had earned a huge amount of mine. Not that he cares.

_I have my fears, you let them out_

_Now I wrap myself around you like a blanket full of doubt_

Now I know what it's like to be betrayed. When your best friend leaves you for someone they've known for less time, all the trust you've built -- collapses. Never felt this afraid before, never felt this alone before.

"Axel..." I started.

"What?" His voice was so hollow. It lacked the spirit he usually put into speaking. It lost all its flavour.

I sat behind him. "I hate seeing you like this." Blushing slightly, I cautiously wrapped my arms around his back and around his neck. "I miss him too... but please, I'm still here for you..."

"Demyx... why do you insist on involving yourself with me? You were the one who pointed out to me that all I care about is Roxas. You aren't hurt by that?"

"Stupid! I wouldn't leave you. Especially not like this. It _does_ hurt a little, but, I'm not leaving your side any time soon." It hurt more than anyone could imagine saying that. I swore my heart out to him, but he'd still rather have someone he couldn't have.

"Thanks, Demyx. But, could I have a little alone time right now?" He stood up, forcing my arms off of him.

_The darkness burns, the sunlight stings_

_He's your everything_

_Does he make you high, make you real?_

_Does he make you cry, does he know the way you feel?_

_Love is all around you, your universe is full_

_But in my world_

I slowly nodded my head and left. That was Axel's way of saying "I don't want you. I don't need you. Get away from me." I've got no one to one to turn to now. No one that would care, anyway.

Why I helped Axel realize what Roxas was to him, I don't know. Maybe it was the right thing to do. Maybe it would get him to realize that there needs to be room in his "non-existent" heart for more than just Roxas. Maybe I needed him to notice me. Maybe I needed respect.

I turned back. Why was I afraid of Axel? I never was. I had no reason to be.

I slammed open his door.

"Axel."

"What're you doing back here?"

_You make me high! You make me real!_

_You make me cry, now you know the way I feel_

"I'm here for you! I always have been. You didn't care, no, not when _he_ came along. He blinded you, wounded you." I interrupted his continual staring at the floor.

"Falling in love's a funny thing, Demyx." He picked his head up and smiled a little.

"I know. That's why I'm here. I've tried to tell you, but you've **never** listened to me, you **never** took me seriously. Stupid, don't you see that there's more out there than just Roxas? For one, I'm here."

"Yes... but you can't make me feel the same way Roxas did."

"Axel... the way you felt about Roxas... that's how I feel about you."

"Wha..?"

Something fell from the corner of my eye. Salty and wet. More fell in a steady rhythm from alternating eyes, down my cheeks, and onto the floor. "Don't you see Axel?" I smiled weakly. "I'm crying for you. If we can't feel, why does it hurt to cry? Why does it hurt to see you only thinking about Roxas? Why does it hurt to know you've moved on?"

"Demyx..."

"You were the first one to offer me their hand. You guided me. You were different from the others. You were someone I could trust immediately. That's something no one else can replace." I clenched my fist and clawed at the spot where I felt a gaping hole, pounding against my flesh.

_Love is all around you, your universe is full_

_But in my world, there's only you_

"You're the only one, Axel," I continued, "the only one who could ever make me feel so strongly. I'll never have an opportunity to feel for someone this way ever again."

"And my chance's over, now that Roxas left."

"That's not true... I can be that chance. I'm willing to take that chance, even if it will hurt me in the end," The tears continued to drip down, their rhythm slowing down. I couldn't suppress an honest grin any longer.

He wrapped his arms around me, much to my surprise. "Demyx," he whispered into my ear, "Thank you. I can't believe I never realized before... Thank you. For always standing by me, even when no one else would. I treasure your friendship more than I ever realized now. There has to be something I can do in return..."

"Could you... pretend to love me?"

"Pretend?"

"I know I can't make you feel the same way about me that you did about Roxas...but until he comes back, could you be mine?"

"Stupid." He grinned his genuine grin and dug his fist into my hair, twisting it – laughing and grinning all the while.

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**More A/N: **I can't believe I wrote angsty!Demyx. That does not work. -cough- Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the ficlet! Reviews please. -begs- 


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